Usually in life, we can’t summon a super power or crush menacing monsters in our way. But some of what I’ve been practicing in videogames for 40 years – being a hero – comes in handy for me and my kids.

We had a situation at our community pool this weekend where our kids were bullied, and it was no wonder, because the parent was a bully to me, too.

I don’t want to get into what happened, but I will say 10 middle-school kids taking over a splash pad is basically the same thing as an army of uncouth, drunken orcs invading our heroes’ local pub. They literally take the whole area for their activity; everyone’s on edge; and normal-sized regulars are gonna get run over and/or hit with spittle.

After numerous complaints to the local authorities and the barman (i.e. the lifeguard), the boss orc (bro dads) finally came over from orc HQ (the cabanas).

He was not concerned that his little band had nearly missed hitting a baby in the head with a hard ball, nor that his soldier (boy) ran over my ward (four-year-old).

His only interactions with us directly were telling me to stay away from them and saying to me, personally, “you’re about the size of a kid.”

In RPGs I’m more of a rogue. I’m more fond of persuasion checks and diplomacy than strength checks. Strength usually leaves a winner and a loser. Persuasion gives the opportunity for both parties to win.

But this isn’t a game. This encounter very real feelings from my childhood, not from videogames but from real bully experiences of always being the smallest and youngest in my class. To a certain people, nothing else matters but what they think is your “weakness.” It doesn’t matter if you’re a kind, bright, diplomatic person; or have a cool job; or even what your body looks like (I’m 44 and I play Dance Dance Revolution competitively; I take care of myself!).

Because I’m the height of the average American 15-year-old girl and I’m size “Boys Large”, I’m an easy “target” to a certain kind of person. A real-life orc:a bully

Not only does this unearth deep-buried feelings of unearned shame and guilt, but more importantly, I have the added dimension settings the example for our kids, who are both girls are also the smallest in their class (and unlike me they don’t work out).

So, being a veteran of hundreds or thousands of virtual experiences in games, I used the greatest sword of legend I could pull from my sheath. (I read that again and hope it doesn’t sound inappropriate).

After he dismissed the lifeguard and compared me to stature of a six-grader, I laughed.

I mean, using another adult’s height to mic drop your “might-makes-right” argument is so dumb and orc-like and so beyond healthy human thought, you can’t really react another way.

I smiled. “Hahaha, what a dick!” I laughed to the lifeguard, my voice quiet enough to be polite but loud enough that I hope he heard me.

I’m not wholly happy with the outcome, but we hung out with our kids on the splash pad as human shields and carved out an area we felt they could play safely. I’m not getting into a match of Mortal Kombat at the splash pad no matter what someone says to me. (I don’t want to be responsible for any Fatalities.)

I don’t need to pretend I’m in a videogame to get courage or stand up to confrontation anymore, even if I’d rather not. Not only do I simply have the dad-power to protect my kids, the experiences I’ve had through decades of gaming I do think bleed over into the person I am at heart now.

I always resolve conflict in games through stealth and persuasion when I can, and I like playing characters who do the right thing and help people. Japanese society is just like that, and it really shows through videogames. You’re always saving helpless people and being the hero no one else can.

I think if you practice anything, you get better at it, and I’ve been practicing these skills in games since I was 4, way before I was old enough to put them into practice in my life. And I want to show my kids they can stand up for themselves through investing in the right skills and through smart rolls, in RPGs and in life.

And it also helps I didn’t have an orc for a mom.